Here’s an update on the work I’m doing with the team from HL2.

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I recently read a quote from an interview with the great poet William Stafford.  It said, “It’s a confirming, satisfying activity to do.  And it’s almost devotional.  Maybe that’s too strong, but it’s as if a day of my life deserves a little attention from life. It’s my kind of attention to stop long enough, to let the evaluative, the speculative, the exploratory impulses that are native to that portion of my time be manifest in a sustained way so that I can recognize them and get sustenance from them.” 

While the honest truth is that I struggled to understand a lot of poetry when I was in junior high and high school, this comment from ol’ Bill Stafford got me thinking, as does his poetry.  Whether we are writers, poets, electricians, leaders, students, musicians, baristas, businesspeople, pastors, parents, or engineers, this makes sense.  Is it possible that the real stuff of your life, the challenges you face at home and at work or even the most mundane things, could be important enough for you to spend a little bit of that life being intentionally reflective about that life? And, is it possible that giving a little bit of time to actually reflect would help you get it done, be more present, deal with adversity, and find hope in the midst of the real and present challenges of life.

So, here’s a way to measure the extent to which your “life is getting attention from life.”

1. Have you documented a list of goals that you want to achieve in the next year including work goals, personal goals, family goals, and spiritual goals?  What other categories would you include?
2. Do you make space every day that is away from the noise of life?
3. Do you have a vision for who you are becoming….that you could tell someone right now, if asked?
4.   Do you know what you want?  What kind of job, family, friends, community, and life?

You don’t have to have all of these answers, but the fact is that if you make the space to think about it, it will make you more interesting and purposeful, and probably a better parent, leader, and person.

One of the rules in my fifth grade class was that anyone who falls back in their chair will lose it for the day. This, of course, triggered all sorts of questions in the heart of one eleven-year-old boy, “What would happen if everybody fell over in their chairs on the same day? How would a teacher be able to punish the whole class? Would all the chairs even fit behind the teacher’s desk?” The next day, believe it or not, that very thing happened. First Kelly Cook lost his chair, then Paul Yost fell over in his chair, then everybody but one person in Mr. Olson’s fifth grade class had their chairs topple over before lunchtime. It turned out, if the chairs were stacked on top of each other, all of them did fit behind the teacher’s desk and the whole class could be punished. In fact, the next day when we arrived back at school ready to retrieve our chairs we met a teacher who said that there were still some lessons to be learned about safety. Two weeks later, our chairs were finally returned after everyone had composed an essay about the significant dangers of leaning back in one’s chair. But oh the power that we all felt over those ten days was worth it!

Sometimes we just have to rebel. We shout with our actions – we find our voice. This isn’t the kind of rebellion that is meant to hurt other people. This is rebellion that says we have a choice, we have control, we decide. Just when people think we are boring and predictable, we can choose to follow a different path.

Sometimes, we just have to push the boundaries to assert who we are the world. In his book, Crossing the Unknown Sea, the poet David Whyte writes,

“To live with courage in any work or in any organization, we must know intimately the part of us that does not give a damn about the organization or the work….With a healthy outlaw approach, we are outside the laws of predicable cause and effect and inside the intensity of creative originality. We have a gleam in our eye; we look to the edges of things; no one really knows what we are up to. We see with the eyes of those who do not quite below. We are dangerous again, and glad to be so.”

Psychologists through the decades have reflected on the human need for self-determination. Other research has consistently shown the advantages of having a sense of agency and control. So, take a few minutes and consider where you might want to assert your will, to find your voice, maybe for no other reason than it sounds like fun. It may require you to break a few rules that need to be broken, to dance your own dance, or sing along to a favorite song no matter who is watching in the car next to you. It might require a little bit of risk, a little bit of stupidity.

 When I was a rebel. Reflect back on some of the times early in your life when you were a rebel—not to hurt people—but to exert your own voice.

Shock & awe. Just once this week, say out loud what everyone else is thinking but no one is courageous enough to say out loud. See what happens.

Break a little glass every day. I worked with an executive who made this one of his personal mantras. For him, it meant making sure he wasn’t just going along with the crowd. He was willing to speak the truth as he saw it.

Take back your day. One day this month, clear your calendar. Spend the day on the most important things at work and let the daily fires take care of themselves, just this once. For bonus points, make sure this is day where you skip at least one meeting where people won’t miss you. After all, we miss work all of the time when we are sick and somehow the organization survives without us. Yet, we never give ourselves permission to take a day to focus on the things that really matter in our jobs and lives. What would happen if you did?

Say no. Find something that you won’t do this week. Practice saying no. How did it feel?

Take a day to play. If you have kids, take one day this year to wake them up early in the morning to spend a special day with you. You won’t do it regularly, but this one day might just create a memory that lasts long into the future.

[1] Whyte, D. (2001). Crossing the unknown sea: Work as a pilgrimage of identity. New York: Riverhead Books.

[1] Deci, E. L., & Ryan, R. M. (1985). Intrinsic motivation and self determination in human behavior. New Yourk: Plenaum Press.

[1] See Bandura, A. (1982). Self-efficacy mechanism in human agency. American Psychologist, 27, 122-147. See also Ng, T. W. H., Sorensen, K. L., & Eby, L. T. (2006). Locus of control at work: A meta-analysis. Journal of Organizational Behavior, 27, 1057-1087. 

[1] Whyte, D. (2001). Crossing the unknown sea: Work as a pilgrimage of identity. New York: Riverhead Books.

[1] Deci, E. L., & Ryan, R. M. (1985). Intrinsic motivation and self determination in human behavior. New Yourk: Plenaum Press.

[1] See Bandura, A. (1982). Self-efficacy mechanism in human agency. American Psychologist, 27, 122-147. See also Ng, T. W. H., Sorensen, K. L., & Eby, L. T. (2006). Locus of control at work: A meta-analysis. Journal of Organizational Behavior, 27, 1057-1087.