As the father of eight and ten year old boys, I think a lot about the adults who are impacting them right now. I look at their teachers and feel a deep sense of gratitude for their investment in my sons and in all the kids in their classes.  I’m thankful that they are good teachers, and most importantly, good human beings who are not there because it’s a job, but because they know they are supposed to be there…maybe even called.  I’m thankful for every man and woman that volunteers every Sunday in their Sunday school classes. For no money and certainly not for their own gratification, they get up every Sunday morning at the crack of dawn to invest in the lives and character of my two sons. Who does that?  All I know is that I’m thankful they do. I’m thankful for the parents of Aidan and Ryan’s friends, and for each time that one of them compliments or praises, or gives constructive feedback to my boys. Who does that?  They do that. I’m thankful for my friends Sean and Rebecca, who don’t even live here in Seattle, but took the time on a short visit to Seattle to go to 3 hours of kids soccer just to see Aidan and Ryan play and hang out with our community of parents cheering them on. I’m thankful for my brother who sends my kids books that he read as a kid and who calls them and knows them, I’m thankful for my sister who doesn’t’ hesitate to tell Aidan and Ryan that she loves them every time she is with them and tells them what she means to them, and I’m thankful for my sister who has made each of them a quilt with her own hands that will drape each of their beds every night and remind them that they are loved deeply.  And, I’m thankful that we live close to all four of their grandparents who invest more deeply in them than you possibly imagine. And, that is only the start of hundreds of people who, for no good reason, sacrifice their own agenda to make it about the growth and development of my two sons.

A few days ago, I was tucking my sons into bed and telling them about my experiences playing little league soccer for the Queen Anne Jets.  I played on that team from 2^nd to 7^th grade.  It is all very near to me now because I coach Aidan and Ryan’s basketball soccer teams.  My coach for all those years was Coach Jim Locke.  As an adult looking back, I know he was a really good man. He had all the right makings of a great coach.  Coach Locke was a stocky and very athletic looking guy.  Maybe it’s because they were at eye level for me as a second grader, but I’ll never forget the strength of coach Locke’s calves.  I remember thinking, “That’s what a soccer players calves should look like.” He always seemed happy and full of an inner joy.  He was always very clear with us.  While I knew he cared about me and my teammates very much, he never hesitated to get very stern with us if we were messing around.  He was a teacher of the game.  He taught us the fundamentals of what it means to play soccer well.  He loved his son Wes. That was clear to each of us, but he treated us all as equals on that team. He was on time to practice.  He stood in the sun, rain, hail, and snow to lead a bunch of kids on a community soccer team.  And for no pay or praise beyond a thanks from a parent (kids aren’t that good at saying thank you sometimes), he invested in me as my coach for six years, and in other players for at least three years after that. Amazing…..

I just learned that Coach Locke passed away this last September.  As a coach now, I see that Coach Locke taught me what it means to be a coach, a father, and a leader. I know now that God has His hand placed gently over the life and legacy of Jim Locke. I didn’t know that as a kid, but I was watching. He represents what I aspire to be as a father, a coach, and as an adult in this world of children and adults. He modeled for me what it means to invest deeply in the lives of others through your time with them.  He didn’t have to be my Coach, but he chose to be. I’m thankful to you Coach Locke.  We were paying attention.

Hacking the World of Work

In March of 2010, I read an article in an airport about the all-hands hacking parties that Facebook does with all its employees with the intention of making Facebook better and better. Almost two years later, we launched a new class that all 70 to 80 graduate students in the Department of Industrial/Organizational Psychology at Seattle Pacific University would take and all 4 professors would teach.  Last night was the start.  It was amazing.  Many of our alumni even came back to come to this event.  I have to admit that after 17 years as a professor, something profound happened for me.  I saw the power of letting go of my own desire to control how learning happens, and seeing the possibilities that emerge when you release the beast that is the leader and learner within each of us.  It may have been the best classroom experience of my life, and all we did was create the “swimming pool” within which to swim, and then we jumped in.  Our intention is to tackle the most interesting, challenging, and very real questions facing work, employers, employees, and real people in the coming years. We said we would measure our success by a few things:

1. The amount of buzz in the room.
2. The extent to which 2/3 of the people in the room loved it, and the other 1/3 hated it (hoping that the 1/3 changes each week).
3. And by the number of outsiders who aren’t even enrolled who come (given that 15 alums showed up, I think it was a good start).

Here is just a small taste of the questions we addressed at the start…..

What is the psychology of the consumer of the future?

Is Social Networking changing everything?

What do we do when 80% of the workforce are contract employees?

What happens when China and India are the biggest world economies?

What does the world look like if 75% of all employees are overqualified and over-educated for the jobs they have?

Which is more important—character or competence?

What if doing the right thing doesn’t increase your ROI?

Should work be fun?

Can you speed up how fast a person learns?

What do faith, hope, and love have to do with ROI?

What does online gaming have to do with how I behavior at work?

How can I be effective when work is more complex than I can ever understand

What are you willing to sacrifice to make your organization succeed?

Been there, never done this.  How does I/O Psychology make a difference in 2015?

Where will we go next?  Come and join us and check it out.  We will all learn something.  You can decide if you fall into the 2/3 or 1/3J

I’m thankful for childhood friends from Queen Anne and Bellevue who still take the time to say happy birthday even though they knew me as the juvenile I was (and still am in many ways).
I’m thankful for my high school friends in Kentucky for their birthday wishes, because they accepted me at a time when was a long way from where I started.
I’m thankful to my college friends and their wishes because they put up with my mullet and tennis shorts that were so tight it’s surprising my voice ever changed, and because they were there to help me grow up a bit.
I’m thankful to my graduate school and 20’s friends because you watched me discover who I was, and who I was becoming, and you helped me gain the confidence to become an adult (whatever that means).
From North Queen Anne, to Bellevue Christian, to Jessamine County, to Seattle Pacific, and to Claremont…thanks to all of you.
I’m thankful for my church community through Eastlake and their wishes because we are now doing life together, raising kids, serving together, and trying to figure out how to be obedient and closer to God while being human.
I’m thankful for the birthday wishes from my friends who are a part of our community in Kirkland, and the opportunity to do life together, support and love our kids, and for the opportunity to coach your kids in basketball and soccer.
I’m thankful to the friends who have been around through big parts of all of that, knew me as a pressured teenager looking to get into a little trouble (from bottle rocket wars to naughty things with mail boxes and snowmen, from dorm room games to cemeteries, and from the Red Door to the 318, and from Jalisco’s to Targies to the High Brow). You have had my back for decades and because of that, I’m so thankful.
I’m thankful for the wishes from those with whom I work. You impact my life every day. Work has been very good to me. I can’t believe what I get to do and who I have had the opportunity to work with. From SPU to Boeing and Microsoft, from Heineken to Foster Farms to the Free Methodist Church, and from RTDS to Bad Bobby and beyond. My work life is filled with people who are amazing at what they do and deeply invested in architecting hope and possibility into the lives of human beings.
I’m thankful to my students and former students who took the time to wish me a happy birthday. Sometimes it’s good to be reminded that what you do and say matters. From Azusa, to Degree Completion, from OB to I/O…thanks to all of you.
I’m thankful to my extended family and friends of family. You have imprinted on my life in ways that I cannot fully understand in such powerful ways. Thank you for your birthday wishes.
I’m thankful for the birthday wishes from my wife Jackie. Enough said….
I’m so thankful for the warm birthday wishes from my sons…they do love birthdays! And for the annual gift of sharing my birthday with Ryan. What an awesome thing.
If I missed any of you, it’s not because I’m not thankful for you, but because I’m still the same guy you have always known who doesn’t catch every detail, but I’m thankful for you and your wishes.
I haven’t always invested in the facebook birthday wishes, but today it made me realize how good it made me feel that even though some of you saw me through some really awkward times, successes, failures, and even mistakes, you still took the time to send birthday wishes. Anyway, thanks y’all. You had an impact on me today.

Felt convicted yesterday about how much I focus on what I need as opposed to startingwith what I have. Haitian kids who have lost limbs and still were laughing and smiling taught me that.

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=714520862#!/album.php?aid=381920&id=91923395047&ref=mf

For more

at happens when you put together a humanitarian organization that serves the needs of the children of the world, a dynamic advertising agency, and a leadership development consulting firm? You get the trip I leave for right now. Leaving for the Dominican Republic tonight with a team from the Seattle based ad agency… known as HL2 to serve with Children of Nations. This is one of the coolest things I’ve had the opportunity to be involved in as it’s a team effort between HL2, Children of Nations, and Real Time Development Strategies to respond to the need in the DR, and in the process, help this team be intentional about learning from the experience. See you soon.
http://www.cotni.org/
www.hl2.com
www.realtimedevelopmentstrategies.com

I’ve been fortunate to have people around me who are willing to ask me the tough questions.  What’s interesting is that the questions fit into one of at least three categories.  1) They were questions that I can answer in highsight, but really couldn’t begin answer when I was asked, 2) they were were funny to me, or 3)  the qeustions are remember all involve major transitions in my life, and crossroads where I knew that discovering the answer might cause some pretty deep and significant change to occur in my life.  For me, the list includes:

Are you still committed to working here?

Are you going to eat that?

Who has your back?

What would you die for?

Do you believe that you are worthy of being loved?

Who are you investing in?

What would you do next if you weren’t afraid?

What are you hiding?

Will you take this woman?

Are you going to make a decision or just stand there?

Do you know how fast you were going?

Will this be on the test?

I must admit, I’m not proud of all these questions or that someone had to ask them, but they stand out in my mind.  The fact is that the questions were important?  They may have told me something about what I knew, who I was, who I wasn’t, what I needed to be, how I could get clear, or why I was doing what I was doing.  But, the fact is that the questions were important.  Do you have questions you’ve been asked that stand out in your mind?  If so, what are they?

The reason I named my book Dying to Lead was a very simple one.  We want leaders who are dying to lead (who want the job) and also willing to die to the possibility of leading (willing to let it go).  We certainly don’t want leaders who want the job too badly.  Those are dangerous types becaus they are defined by what they do, what they achieve, often driven by a blind sense of confidence in their own ability, and often out of touch with all that’s at stake for themselves and for their followers.  But, on some level, they have want the job.  We are asking for tough things from leaders.  You need to want the job, and in the same moment, be willing to let it go if it’s time for someone else to lead.  What a tough job leaders have. 

Where do you fall on that sprectrum?  Do you have a healthy respect for the stakes involved in leading?  Do you have too much confidence in your own ability, or just the right amount of reluctance and motivation to take on the job of leading?  You have to want it, and be wiling to let it go. 

In the book Dying to Lead, Dr. McKenna describes leadership in three ways.

1.  As a choice – on some level, you chose to be a leader or someone told you were going to lead and you accepted.

2.  As responsibility for the work of others.  You are responsible for the work of others on some level.

3.  As responsibility for the development of others.  You are responsible for the development of others on some level. 

In short, a leader is someone who is accountable for the work and development of someone else.  This means that if you are a parent, or a manager, you are accountable and leading. 

Are you a leader?  If so, why?  If not, why not?

Check out this latest video blog post.  Evidence that it truly is hard to take me seriously.

A few weeks back, my wife Jackie and I were watching the US Open golf tournament. I don’t play golf very well, but I love to watch golf sometimes…mostly because it makes me feel like I’m on vacation because of all the grass, beaches, palm trees, and ponds that look like swimming pools. Anyway, we had actually been watching for about an hour, and had begun to witness what we had seen so many times before…Tiger Woods coming after playing poorly earlier in the week. At one point, I looked at Jackie and said, “It’s amazing how many times he’s done this. I mean, he has this uncanny ability to hit the right shots when it counts……Amazing!” We watched him once again come back all the way to the last hole where he was shooting to force a playoff the next day. We were both on the edge of our seats watching. Then, he sinks a 30 foot putt to force the playoff, and the crowd got absolutely nuts. We were both floored, and again I said, “It’s UNCANNY honey, he does this every time. I feel like I’ve seen him do this over and over again!” And then one moment later the coverage broke away to a still camera on an empty golf course with rain falling in the background, and a voice said, “And we’re back live during the rain delay at the 2009 US Open. We hope you enjoyed our coverage of the Tiger Woods comeback at the 2008 Open.” Yes, we were watching last year’s tournament, and yes, we did watch it together last yearL

There are so many questions about identity that this raises for me. First, is my identity, the sum of my experiences, my accomplishments, or even one major success or failure? If so, what does my experience with the US Open tell me about me? To what extent do other people impact who I am? If I make a foolish mistake in front of other people, does that make me a fool? Is the label I place on myself or the labels placed on me by others the sum total of who I am? If I’m Michael Jackson, is who I am “the king of pop?” If I’m Farrah Fawcet, is who I am the woman in the red bathing suit or the Angel who left before the first season was over? Is that who I am? Even though much of what I’ve experienced may or may not be true?

Identity is so important to us that we have an entire racket called “identity theft.” And just think of the last time you heard someone say, “who do you think you are anyway?” The fact is that your identity matters. It matters because it ultimately impacts what you do. So, consider four questions.

1. Who are you? – Be honest, what labels do you put on yourself, both good and not so good? Just make a list of the top 10 labels you put on yourself and throw in a few that some trusted others put on you.
2. What are you most afraid of losing? – In what ways does fear have a hold on your identity and charting the course for your life?
3. Whose are you? – To whom do you belong? Who are you associated with? To what extent are you so concerned about what other people think that you have lost yourself?
4. What label would God put on you? – If your Creator came up to you and whispered your name in your ear and said, “[insert your name], you are                                 .”  What would God say? If God said, you are acceptable, you are valuable, you are forgivable, you are loved, could you believe it? If you believed it, what difference could that make?